The Point

My ten-year-old son told me about this legendary wilderness tracker who could trace ant footprints across a rock. I don’t 100 percent believe this, but if it is true, then it is a perfect metaphor for my mission. I don’t expect to become legendary, but I do plan to unravel the mysteries of technology in order to potentially NOT be inept, negative or freaked out when it comes to anything involving keypads and touch screens. In my personal opinion, this will be superhuman–much like tracing ant footprints across a rock. I plan to figure out once and for all how to text my thirteen-year-old daughter at the most embarrassing moment possible, how to program a timer on my ten-year-old son’s computer game so it will turn off automatically before his brain melts, and how to challenge my husband to a game of online Scrabble so I can whip his butt. I have spent the last thirteen years holding up children’s heads as they vomit into the toilet, so how hard can technology be, relatively speaking? Which will more likely trigger my gag reflex, children vomiting or Facebook? Let’s find out.